There should be a word that means like the opposite of forever, I feel like temporarily is just not good enough. I think fornever is perfect. Yeeah. Its like more final than temporarily but still not so strict like never. Fornever doesn't mean never, no, it means untill never, and then after never, well who knows, maybe, I dont know. You have the right to invent a word if you want to. Also you have the right to invent anything if necessary.

Ok so you're right but that doesn't really mean I need to give a shit, does it? Huh? Huuuuuh?

I’ve been reading something about how we take those things about us that are ugly, like our bad sides and then we push them away, we cast them out, we exile them to various subterranean worlds of consciousness. We hide them deep inside because we dont wanna see them on the outside, on the outside we wanna see only our good sides, on the outside we wanna look good I mean obviously. I fucking hate the concept of being my best self. So as we keep hiding this shit of ours inside it starts creating piles of shit inside of us and soon we become full of shit. The thing is the shit just wants to be seen, it just wants a bit of attention, it wants to be integrated, not thrown away. So I’m like I dont wanna exile shit, I dont wanna exile anything,. Exile nothing, this has been in my head for days, exiling nothing.

All the images and gifs I post here are done by me. If you wanna read more of my writing here is where I blog about all kinds of stuff. Also, this platform I use for blogging, the Bearblog, is also pretty cool. And here right here is where I put links to random websites that I like.

The centipede effect is a name for a phenomenon that occurs when a normally automatic or unconscious activity is disrupted by consciousness of it or reflection on it. It got its name after a cute short poem called The Centipede's Dillema that goes like this:
A centipede was happy – quite!
Until a toad in fun
Said, "Pray, which leg moves after which?"
This raised her doubts to such a pitch,
She fell exhausted in the ditch
Not knowing how to run.

There is no final form
it is all forever wiggly.

I'm like yeah I want love but I don't wanna like endure it, its like i have no capacity for that. Can you underdstand this? Can I understand this?